I think most of you know this about me, but for those that may not: I am very excitable. Rooms still teases me about waking up at, oh, maybe 6AM on the day of my 21st birthday party, too excited to sleep anymore, despite my party not starting until about 6 that night. And I think it still surprises D how often I wake up excited for…the day. I get pumped to go hiking, to go to Trader Joe’s, to go to the library. I’ll talk all day about what I’m going to make for dinner, and I’ve been known to really look forward to making tea at our campsite. Honestly, I’m convinced that my excitement for all of the mundane parts of my day heavily contributes to what has been called my ‘extraordinary levels of happiness.’ I mean, we have to do all of these things everyday, right? May as well learn to enjoy them!
Given my excitement for the ordinary, you can imagine how I get when BIG things are happening. And in the next two weeks, a LOT of Big Things are happening: we leave for Pasadena tomorrow and I am SO EXCITED to see D’s fam and some friends. Then, this weekend, I am SUPER EXCITED to see my beautiful cousin, Gi-gi, and DANCE at her 30th birthday party. Then, I am REALLY EXCITED to go camping in Joshua Tree for a few days next week. And then, I am RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED to head to the farm. Talking to B last night only made it worse. As my Internet friend Rachel once aptly described her own excitement:
You were already like a kid before Christmas, and now it’s like Santa told that kid, “Hey guess what! Christmas is December 15th this year! And you’re getting a PlayStation, a pony, and maybe getting laid!”
Mind you, in my typical fashion, I have seriously overcommitted myself this week – I like to feel like I’ve really ‘earned’ my vacation, because it couldn’t possibly be fun without working myself to death prior – so I’m also kind of exhausted. My eyes are sleepy and my brain is fuzzy, but my stomach and body are doing a nonstop tap dance.
That being said, it’s a little bittersweet. Today is my last day at all of my gigs and my last night on-call, so I’ll be saying goodbyes all day. Personally, I’ve always preferred slinking out of town unnoticed with as little fanfare as possible, but – as it turns out – people don’t appreciate that. So, I’ll say all the goodbyes and fight the guilt my people-pleasing mind feels when my clients/employers (I have never figured out how to refer to my CL gigs) say, ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do without you!’ Which they’ve all said. Several times, actually. Which is why I prefer disappearing into the night. (I’m working on taking compliments more graciously.) But seriously – I’ve grown to really enjoy all the work that I’m doing here, and feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to connect with the people I’ve worked with here.
I’m also going to really miss Santa Cruz county. I’ve only fallen more in love while living here, and while the city itself is still too white and rich, I’m fairly certain that this area is one of the most beautiful and geographically diverse – we have mountains, farms, country, city, AND the beach! – in the country, and the local food is the freshest you can get (outside of your own farm). I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to have lived here for this time, and – as I’ve said multiple times – if Life brings me back here, I will consider myself nothing but lucky.
Thank you for everything, Santa Cruz. It’s been wonderful. 🙂
Sending y’all lots and lots of Love and Hugs. ❤