Excited Much?

I think most of you know this about me, but for those that may not: I am very excitable. Rooms still teases me about waking up at, oh, maybe 6AM on the day of my 21st birthday party, too excited to sleep anymore, despite my party not starting until about 6 that night. And I think it still surprises D how often I wake up excited for…the day. I get pumped to go hiking, to go to Trader Joe’s, to go to the library. I’ll talk all day about what I’m going to make for dinner, and I’ve been known to really look forward to making tea at our campsite. Honestly, I’m convinced that my excitement for all of the mundane parts of my day heavily contributes to what has been called my ‘extraordinary levels of happiness.’ I mean, we have to do all of these things everyday, right? May as well learn to enjoy them!

Given my excitement for the ordinary, you can imagine how I get when BIG things are happening. And in the next two weeks, a LOT of Big Things are happening: we leave for Pasadena tomorrow and I am SO EXCITED to see D’s fam and some friends. Then, this weekend, I am SUPER EXCITED to see my beautiful cousin, Gi-gi, and DANCE at her 30th birthday party. Then, I am REALLY EXCITED to go camping in Joshua Tree for a few days next week. And then, I am RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED to head to the farm. Talking to B last night only made it worse. As my Internet friend Rachel once aptly described her own excitement:

You were already like a kid before Christmas, and now it’s like Santa told that kid, “Hey guess what! Christmas is December 15th this year! And you’re getting a PlayStation, a pony, and maybe getting laid!”

Mind you, in my typical fashion, I have seriously overcommitted myself this week – I like to feel like I’ve really ‘earned’ my vacation, because it couldn’t possibly be fun without working myself to death prior – so I’m also kind of exhausted. My eyes are sleepy and my brain is fuzzy, but my stomach and body are doing a nonstop tap dance.

That being said, it’s a little bittersweet. Today is my last day at all of my gigs and my last night on-call, so I’ll be saying goodbyes all day. Personally, I’ve always preferred slinking out of town unnoticed with as little fanfare as possible, but – as it turns out – people don’t appreciate that. So, I’ll say all the goodbyes and fight the guilt my people-pleasing mind feels when my clients/employers (I have never figured out how to refer to my CL gigs) say, ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do without you!’ Which they’ve all said. Several times, actually. Which is why I prefer disappearing into the night. (I’m working on taking compliments more graciously.) But seriously – I’ve grown to really enjoy all the work that I’m doing here, and feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to connect with the people I’ve worked with here.

I’m also going to really miss Santa Cruz county. I’ve only fallen more in love while living here, and while the city itself is still too white and rich, I’m fairly certain that this area is one of the most beautiful and geographically diverse – we have mountains, farms, country, city, AND the beach! – in the country, and the local food is the freshest you can get (outside of your own farm). I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to have lived here for this time, and – as I’ve said multiple times – if Life brings me back here, I will consider myself nothing but lucky.

Thank you for everything, Santa Cruz. It’s been wonderful. 🙂

Sending y’all lots and lots of Love and Hugs. ❤

Happy Birthday, Babydoll.

We met this goat, donkey, and horse this week – how cool looking is that goat?! – which has nothing to do with this post. I just wanted to share.

Today is Danny’s birthday, and I started the day by reading this, which quickly brought me to tears. It’s the last blog post of a mom who knew that she would die soon from cancer. Here’s an excerpt:

I have so much life I still want to live, but know I won’t have that. I want to be there for my friends as they move with their lives, see my children grow up and become old and grumpy with Rich. All these things are to be denied of me.

But, they are not to be denied of you. So, in my absence, please, please, enjoy life. Take it by both hands, grab it, shake it and believe in every second of it. Adore your children. You have literally no idea how blessed you are to shout at them in the morning to hurry up and clean their teeth.

The two most constant reminders I receive from the Universe, on a near-daily basis, are that, one, Life is not easy for anyone, and two, to be (extremely) grateful. The truth is, I have no Faith; I don’t know why we’re here, or what my purpose is, and I’ve never been entirely sure that there’s anyone – or any deity – in control, any Master Plan. My own Brother has called me a ‘true non-believer’ and D’s brother once told me that I ‘need more Disney in me.’ It’s not that I’m rebelliously against Faith, as I was in my younger years. It’s that – as my Mama once said – ‘there are just so many things to believe in.’ Another case of the crippling freedom of too much choice.

But I do know that this Life, as we know it, will end. That’s a Truth. And maybe something better or different or exciting comes next, but maybe it doesn’t. Maybe this is all that we get. And until I Know otherwise, I’m going to practice Gratitude for everything this Life has to offer, the hard stuff and the wonderful. And I’m going to practice Compassion for all of humankind because this Human Experience? It’s confusing and scary and rough, and – I can’t say this often enough – it’s not easy for ANYBODY.

And I am going to LOVE, and love hard. I love all of you SO VERY MUCH. Always, all the ways.

With that, I’m off to celebrate the 35th birthday of that guy I adore. Happy 35th, mi amor. 😀

Happy Friday to the rest, and wishing you a WONDERFUL weekend!

Spread the LOVE. ❤

Henry Cowell State Park.

Happy Thursday, Lovies!

D and I have spent this week camping in Felton, the little town directly north of Santa Cruz. All of the campgrounds in Santa Cruz County support the ‘Camping Lite’ style, with hot showers, fire pits and firewood sold on-site, tables and small pantries for food storage, cleared tent spaces, and plenty of access to water. All of these conveniences are appreciated, particularly now, as we are still working while we camp.

What sets this campground apart is the setting. In the redwood forest. Which boasts a few dozen miles of trails. I absolutely love waking up early, having tea, and going for a hike to start the day.

The scenery really makes up for not having a kitchen.

The scenery, and the fact that we’ve been making some fabulous meals on the campfire. We went to the farmers market yesterday and picked up some (organic, local, humanely raised and killed) meats, veggies, and fruits. Last night, we had chicken, corn on the cob, beans, rice, and avocado, with fruit for dessert. The previous night, we had corn on the cob, stuffed portabellos, and beans, courtesy of Trader Joe’s. This morning, we feasted on sausages, more beans, and more fruit. (D and I both have sweet tooths, and we haven’t been eating white sugar; instead, we consume copious amounts of fruit. Copious.) Not too shabby.

I have been feeling exceptionally grateful that we chose to spend these last few weeks soaking up the outdoors in and around Santa Cruz. This area is stunningly beautiful, and both D and I agree that we just love ‘living outside.’ I know that many (most) of you think it’s crazy that I/we would choose to camp on a farm for months rather than continuing to live in our apartment and hold steady jobs, but I love this. It is my sincerest dream to buy land and a yurt and work part-time and live simply and slowly build up my farm over the years. Just need to figure out the where…

In two weeks, we’ll be leaving Santa Cruz, en route to our next adventure, and, as many of you know, I excite easily, and it’s sometimes hard for me to contain my enthusiasm for All the Things that are coming in Life. But for now, I’m practicing being present and enjoying the view.

Hope you all are having a lovely Thursday! 🙂

*Today is 9/11. In the past, I’ve been obsessed with plastering ‘Never Forget’ all over social media on this date, showing my support for this country, my remembrance of those that were lost, my acknowledgement of how significant this day is. It was the popular thing to do.

Well, I’m not popular anymore, and I spend far less time on social media. And while I absolutely remember what happened today, my feelings about this event and its consequences are too confused and complex to simplify into something as simple as ‘Never forget,’ especially considering that I am no longer convinced that refusing to let go of this awful part of our past and the feelings attached to it is the best thing for anyone.

So instead, my recommendation is to remember the oversize shadow of this tragedy by putting more light into the world. Do one nice thing for a stranger today: hold a door, pay for their coffee, send an email, say a kind word. Tell your friends and your spouse how much you appreciate them, and call your grandmother to say hi. Smile a the people you pass on the street. Do whatever your creative mind thinks of with one goal in mind: to spread the LOVE. ❤

Drought.

‘What drought?’
Says D ironically as we drive through miles and miles and miles of this en route to Chico. We’ll be spending the night there, then headed back to Henry Cowell Redwood State Park in the morning to camp. 🙂

Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday. ❤

The Good News Blog.

Well… August was a rough month, huh? I mean, not for me, for the whole world. At some point mid-month, my filtering system broke down, and both my mom and D were inundating me with bad news from around the globe. And I get it: a lot of shit went really bad last month. I responded with a desire to start a blog devoted purely to good news.

Because the reality is that, yes, bad things happen, but we cannot forget that there is so much good, so much beauty and wonder in the world. Life does not need to be feared; Life is to be celebrated. Not everything has to be so scary or worrisome. There are so many good peoples in the world with big hearts and warm smiles and a desire to spread the Love.

But now I don’t have to start that blog because Momastary did it for me. For the last few weeks, I’ve been loving on pretty much everything this woman has ever written. She’s a good person, a good writer, and I love her message.

In other news…

Views from New Brighton State Beach! Make it easier to adjust to not having a kitchen. 😉

From inside the super-sturdy, comfortable, easy-to-use tent my parents got me for my birthday. Thank you again, Parents! 🙂 I can’t believe how much of my life was spent not outdoors.

Also! I saw Brother and Kay and my future niece/nephew yesterday, and we had a fabulous time touring around San Francisco on one of those red double decker busses, laughing about the trivia provided by our tour guide (‘We loved Robin Williams, bless his heart. He owned three homes here’). I had a really lovely time with the two of them and love getting to know my sister-in-law, whom I also feel like I’ve known forever.

In typical family fashion, we forgot to take any pictures. All I have are these two crap photos from atop the bus to prove I was there:

We were too busy spreading the Love and observing the hippies in their natural habitats to be bothered with cameras. Living in the moment and whatnot. 😉

And with that, I’m off to read some Krishnamurti and hike before heading to work for the Brooklynite. Happy Friday, Loves! ❤

What is Income Inequality?

I caught a snippet of Keeping Up With the Kardashians this morning, while they are on vacation in Thailand.

I can never quite grasp that some people get to live like them, and some other people have to sleep on the street.

To, once again, quote Selina Kyle in The Dark Knight Rises:

There’s a storm coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you’re all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us.

We’re headed to New Brighton State Beach Park today. I’m very much looking forward to a slightly greater disconnect from the grid. 😉

Love. ❤